Soup and Solstice 2012, year of the dragon

Over a year since I last posted. Samantha is 8. Courageously I face my fierce dragons and figure out the circumstances required for me to completely relax and sing. My body wants good food, fresh water, minerals, vegetables, orgasms. Orgasms once easy to attain are more difficult. Why? Body? Brain? Nervous system? My vulnerability is my strength. Transparency of intention. Practice practice practice the behavior. Move a muscle change a thought.

Write it down and remember. forget and remember again. No one wants inside my brain. My home is cozy. Only my energy field - my shell. I mingle directly like a vampire invited through the door. I finally understand the pain of love. The pain of falling in love then spinning story after story to cast myself as hero only to repeatedly see myself as a the dick in the situation. I want to understand why the relationship can never be (in real life) the way it felt once upon a time when circumstances were different. I want to understand why and occupy my body in peace with the knowledge that sometimes it can't have what it wants right now but, that later I plan a good experience for it. So...a party. 2nd Annual Neighborhood Soup and Solstice, at the Little Church.